I love being a working mom. I love being able to go to work and converse with adults all day and the alone time that it brings. I love that I have a career and that I am able to make my own money. There are some people who are totally cut out to be a stay at home mom. They are super creative, they love to play and they are great at and love being a homemaker. I’m not one of those people. As much as I truly adore my kids, I have always said that I would probably be in the psych ward if I had to stay home all day. I’m not creative, I’m not good at coming up with art projects for them to do, and I’m awful at imaginative play! As much as I would love to be, I am certainly no Martha Stewart.
Even though I love my job, I’m still a victim of that damn mom guilt. Every morning I drop my kids off at daycare, I give them a big hug and kiss, as they run eagerly inside, anxious to play. As I walk back to my car, guilt starts to creep in. That stupid mom guilt that someone else is spending all day with my kids. That I only see my kids for a few hours after they wake up and before they go to bed. I feel guilty that I love my job.
And if I’m not putting enough guilt on myself already, at least once a week there is a message in my Facebook inbox, usually from an acquaintance I haven’t seen or even talked to since the day I graduated high school. All of the messages always say something a long the lines of, “Your kids are so cute, wouldn’t you love to be able to stay home with them all day? I have the perfect opportunity for you to be able to stay home with them”. Annoyed that they are preying on my mom guilt in a desperate attempt to get me to join their crappy MLM company, they are always shocked to hear me say that I actually love me job.
When I came across this study done by Harvard University I almost jumped for joy. This study found that daughters of working moms excelled more in their own career than daughters of stay at home moms. That these daughters were more likely than their counterparts to be better employees, earn more, and have higher titles. Sons of working mothers were almost twice as likely to help out around the home when they have their own family than sons of stay at home moms (your welcome future daughter-in-laws!)
I think it’s safe to say that both working moms and stay at home moms are doing the best that they can. There are many of advantages that children receive when their parent stays at home with them, that children of working parents don’t get. But the whole point of this, let’s stop this damn mom guilt. You are not a bad mom if you choose to work and you are not a bad person if you choose to stay at home. You are doing what you feel is best for your family. Let’s stop making moms feel guilty about their choices! As in most things in life there are advantages and disadvantages to everything. There is no wrong or right way. So you do you girl, hold your head high and be proud of who you choose to be!
As the Universe would have it, I am actually becoming a stay at home at the end of this month. Through many different circumstances we have to this conclusion that this would be the best decision for our family right now. There is a good chance that I may end up at the psych ward or banging down my office door ready to come back in a week, but for now, this is the direction that we are going. Stay tuned for my posts about how this transition is going to go!! I see lots of wine in my future!!